Thursday, July 20, 2017

Go Fish: How To Communicate More Effectively And Attract More People To You

August 7, 2012 by  
Filed under Skillset

Effective Communication

Go Fish, isn’t that a name of a popular children’s card game? Nope. Not in this article.

Here it’s quite a concept!

It’s not what I expected or perceived it to be especially in the context of communication. I learned this little but POWERFUL communication tip from best-selling author, Melody Beattie.

She related this advice which came from one of her teachers who taught her about effective communication. Her teacher imparted this wisdom as a lesson in communication within the context of fishing. She said, “When you fish, find out what level the fish are at and what they’re eating.” So to be successful at fishing, you engage this strategy.

The expectation for most people trying to create a niche or business online embraces the most parroted phrase in network marketing, and for some the ever mythical and sometimes elusive Attraction Marketing. To a certain extent, it refers to the idea that people will come to you, adapt to your point of view and to what you want to talk about. However, if we go beyond that description and follow this go fish metaphor, you’re more likely to reach a wider range of people, be more effective, and be interesting (or attractive) when you learn to go to them and become the ‘INTERESTED.’

During a strategy session with one of my coaching clients, I shared that it’s important to get out of your house (literally your house or virtually, your blog), in order to meet and engage with new people. Share what you know and your passions, and be not only interesting but also interested in them.

There is a higher probability that they will follow you back to your blog when you impart value, and when you invite them over to your virtual home or they may even take the initiative and just pop over on their own.

Be the interested party who asks about their likes, interests, personal growth journey, hang-ups, etc… During this interaction you’ll both learn what makes you tick, your common interests and effervescent differences. It’s by being aware of differences and learning to value and appreciate them that you discover the distinct qualities that you offer to the market place.

Melody Beattie says that, “often [when communicating], especially if we feel insecure or need to control, we [tend to not feel or] won’t be comfortable unless people agree with us.” If that’s the case and if talking to people is as painful as the thought of a drill digging into your back molar, then Go Fish.

For some people it takes practice to make small talk or chat all the while being comfortable with showing your true self. When communication is key to your success and essential to achieve your goals, then embrace the habit of going fishing especially if you’re meeting a new person or attending a meeting. You’re more likely to learn new and phenomenal things that can propel you beyond your limits and the limits others have set for you.



My advice is to

Go Fish and to

Do it often!




Photo credit: and

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5 Responses to “Go Fish: How To Communicate More Effectively And Attract More People To You”
  1. I do agree that it is so important to get out and meet people. I think there’s a tendency to create a bubble that we can stay in for too long when we are online. Most of my greatest inspirations for posts have come from conversations with people offline, from things I’ve seen or things I’ve experienced. I used to attend a monthly meetup and get together with half a dozen other people who work online in various capacities. It was a great opportunity to share ideas, chat about offline life, and have a relaxing time with like minded people. Most of my friends have no idea about blogs, blogging, the internet in general! They understand Facebook and that’s about it!

    Enjoy the journey.


  2. “Be the interested party who asks about their likes, interests, personal growth journey, hang-ups, etc.” This is right out of Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People, and lesson that has changed my life and business.

    Most people are driven my their ego to want security, control, approval, or separateness, but some people are not because they have come to embrace the ‘comfort zone’ as a place of lack.

    I’ve found that the more I choose to get outside my ‘comfort zone’ and simply engage real people by being the real me, the more my live and business seem to just effortless grow into what I have always wanted. “Do you want to be a success in life, or would it be better to actually Live It?”

    To Your Peace and Prosperity,

    David H. Paul
    the Follow Your Bliss Guy

  3. I like that Miriam…Go Fish!

    It is so simple yet deep at the same time.

    It is a great concept to apply to your business. If you go to the places where people are already looking for what you have to offer it is a win win situation.

    I’m off fishing :-)


  4. Laura Morris says:

    Wonderful post Miriam Buhr. I love what you said “Share what you know and your passions, and be not only interesting but also interested in them”. To often I think the ego is present in the “front row” eager to share all about how great “I am” all my attributes, and why you should like me. I teach over and over, that you will make a deeper more lasting impression on someone if you take your time, in measured amounts, and LISTEN to them. There is nothing wrong with SHINING and being magnificent YOU…If you are Being you, you don’t have to talk about how great you are, it just IS and people feel it, and they get it. Take a sincere interest in who THEY are, what they like to do, and what’s most important to them. Don’t just say the words, but truly mean it, and connect with them.
    I remember a couple of years ago when I was briefly part of a mindset group, the leader called to welcome Larry and me to the group. He spent 15 full minutes talking about himself, and never asked one single question of either one of us. He simply talked about himself. What kind of impression do you think that made on us? Did we feel like he was sincerely interested in US, or just interested in telling us how great he is. It left a lasting impression on me, and taught me a lesson on communication that I will never forget. So that would be my point when fishing..and I know from spending time on the phone with you Miriam, you are an excellent fisherwoman!

  5. Great post Miriam in our business we are in contact with our customers face to face all the time and what keeps them loyal to us is partly due to the communication we have with them. A lot of our customers are elderly so look forward to us calling on them and taking the time to chat.
    By being interested in other people we can build lasting relationships

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